Four Ways to Give Thanks This Year

I will give thanks to you, LORD, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds.
  I will be glad and rejoice in you; I will sing the praises of your name, O Most High.
– Psalms 9:1-2 (NIV)

Thanksgiving Day is upon us! So why another Thanksgiving-themed blog? Well, because I think focusing on being thankful deserves more than a single day. In fact, we should be thankful every day. Most of us are so blessed and it’s easy to forget that in the hubbub of everyday life.

My brother once said that sometimes “it seems as if Thanksgiving is just a speed bump on the road to Christmas”. Our culture seems so driven towards Black Friday and Christmas that we hardly even notice Thanksgiving along the way. And now many retailers open their doors on Thanksgiving Day itself because we can’t wait even one day to get our hands on the newest gadgets we simply must have.

One of the truly great things about Thanksgiving is getting the family together for at least one day or one meal. A lot of families are spread out all over the country or overseas and the holiday is a chance to reconvene and reconnect. When you do that this year, let me suggest four things that you can do with your family, friends, and neighbors this year between football games and turkey legs:

Reflect Talk with each other about how things are going. Ask each other, “How’s the year so far? Are there any issues that are troubling you? What about successes?”

Doing this will get us past the surface talk that sometimes dominates the Thanksgiving meal and allow us to really talk to each other in a deeper way. What you will find in this exercise is that there have been a lot of blessings during the year. There was a song I sang growing up that said to “Count your blessings, name them one by one.” The truth is, it would take me a really long time to do that. That in itself is a blessing.

Encourage – Think of someone in your family or social circle that has had a rough year. If you can’t think of anyone, widen your circle – you won’t have to look far. Then, do something encouraging for them … something that makes their life a little better. This doesn’t have to be big or expensive. Remember, time and a listening ear can be the most treasured gifts we ever give to someone. The Golden Rule may be a good one to focus on if you’re still looking for ideas. Give them a call and really listen. Put them on your prayer list and pray daily for them.

Share Do something generous. We can all find someone that is worse off than we are. Do you have anything you really don’t need or can go without this month so you can totally bless someone? Or how about inviting someone over to share the Thanksgiving festivities — food, football, fellowship — with your family? Again, your idea here doesn’t have to be gigantic. Just reach out and make a difference because, after all, giving IS better than receiving, isn’t it?

Practice – Take these ideas with you into the coming holiday months and the New Year. In other words, don’t wait until next Thanksgiving to do thankful things. Commit to leading a thankful life as a big part of who you are and the way you live. They say “practice makes perfect,” so why not be perfect at giving thanks? I can think of worse things to be perfect at.

Here’s wishing you the best season of giving thanks ever.

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What Would You Do For Free?

“No, my son, do not aspire for wealth and labor only to be rich. Strive instead for happiness, to be loved and to love, and most important to acquire peace of mind and serenity.” – Og Mandino

At the start of my transition following a 25-year tenure in the world of advertising and publishing, I spent a lot of time trying to determine what my next career would look like. Finding my next big opportunity became my mission, the only thing that mattered.

I became obsessed with this mission. What company would I work for? What position would I have? What would my salary and benefits look like? All I cared about was finding the biggest title and compensation package I could get my hands on.

And my approach was all wrong. At first, anyway.

That was back in my old Keeping Up with the Joneses days. After running into one wall after another, I began seeking counsel from those friends, colleagues, and family members I trusted most. One of them asked me a paradigm shifting question that I’ll never forget. He asked: “What would you do for free if money were not an issue? Find that and go do it.”

Wow! This friend really challenged me to stop looking for my next job and start looking for my calling … that thing I was made to do. Friend and mentor Bob Shank, founder of The Master’s Program, would say it like this: “it’s the difference between what you’re paid to do and what you’re made to do.”

This thinking revolutionized my way of thinking, particularly about my career approach. Rather than starting with questions related to how much I wanted to make, I started with goals related to what I wanted most from life. I remained focused on ensuring my career supported rather than competed with these goals. To give you a peak under the hood, here are some of the top goals that made my list:

  • Become a better husband and father
  • Learn what “abiding in Christ” means and move towards that
  • Live a life of generosity and service
  • Seek joy, impact, and balance

These and other goals now keep me focused and serve as a filter for all decisions I make. Without these at the forefront, it would be too easy to slip back into my old pattern of life choosing me rather than me choosing life. And I don’t intend to ever go back.

So, let me ask you these questions. What top goals have you set to guide your life, family, ministry, and career? Are they serving as true filters for all that you do? Do others know about your goals and help hold you accountable to them?

Setting and living by effective goals is not something that happens overnight. It’s hard work. Contact me if you want some pointers.

Blessings on your continuing journey,

Bob Karcher

Author | Speaker | Coach

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Because It Really Does Matter

“Every instant of life matters. Humility is knowing so. Passion is feeling so. Wisdom is living so.” – Unknown

This past week has been disturbing as we were all shocked by the shooting rampage in Las Vegas, the largest mass shooting in our country’s history. We remain dumbfounded on exactly how to process the reality that these types of events are escalating in America, a land blessed with so much.

In our last blog post titled How to Do What Matters we asked a question that we now ask again: “Is life choosing you or are you choosing life?”

We have been reminded in dramatic fashion that living life fully every day matters, it really matters!

In the past two weeks, we received word that three, yes three, of our family / friends passed away. And you want to know the really unsettling part? All three were between 53 and 60 years old. That is way too soon for anyone to lose their life.

Of course we had no idea when we wrote that blog post that we would be sitting through three memorial services in such a short time or be faced with the Las Vegas massacre. A certain passage from the Bible (James 4: 13-15 MSG) speaks to the brevity of life and has been ringing in our ears all week. It reads:

13 Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” 14 Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. 15 Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”

Greg Murtha, former president of Halftime Institute, personally lived and learned the meaning of this Bible passage. In a past blog post, we wrote about Greg’s struggle with cancer. After multiple surgeries, 75 rounds of chemo, and two heart attacks, cancer took Greg’s life this past June. He was 52.

Before passing, Greg was able to share his thoughts on life and what he learned through his struggle in his book, Out of the Blue. This book, which we highly recommend, published a few weeks after Greg’s passing.

We don’t mean for this blog post to be all negative, but we do hope to shatter the perception that our days in the distant and immediate future are guaranteed. The events above should, if nothing else, prove this. None of us are promised tomorrow but we often live as though we are.

If you knew your life was coming to a close, what would you do differently? What would you do more of … less of? How would spend your time, your love, your money? Who would you spend time with? What would you tell them? What impact on the world and personal legacy would you work towards?

Go ahead, take some time (soon) to seriously ponder these questions. And then start living like you aren’t promised tomorrow … because none of us are.

Drop us a note and share how you are going to live differently starting today than you were yesterday. Then, go make a difference.

Blessings on your continuing journey,

Bob and Susan Karcher

Authors | Speakers | Coaches

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How to Do What Matters

“Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me. Going to bed at night saying we’ve done something wonderful, that’s what matters to me.” – Steve Jobs

I don’t know about you but a quote talking about “what matters” gets me thinking. Steve Jobs’ comment is one of those. How do we know what matters … and what matters most? Is it the same for me and for you? How do we know? I mean, heck, if I’m going to think about doing what matters, I want to do what matters most! Don’t you?

I have to admit that I have been through seasons where I was just going through the motions rather than living life like it was the one life I was created for. Going through the motions can sneak up on you. Even now, if I’m not careful, my days can quickly fill up with so much useless “activity” that, at the end of the day, I feel like I ran a marathon but on a treadmill; I put in all the work without getting anywhere.

“Is life choosing you or are you choosing life?”

Have you ever had days like that? Be honest with yourself. Is life choosing you or are you choosing life? What I mean is has your frenzied life taken over your daily schedule or are you dictating how you spend your days?

Don’t get me wrong, not all of our daily activities fit nicely into that “what matters most” box (think laundry, dishes, oil changes, and the like). There will always be chores but we can become so busy “doing” that we forget the joy in simply “being.”

“But I’m so busy”, you say. I know. Most of us are. So start with today. What’s on your calendar today that matters? Anything? If not, you can replace it with something important you’ve been wanting to do for a long time. Consider visiting your parents, getting some quiet time in, calling that friend in need, or writing that thank you note. I bet you have a long list of things that really matter that you’ve been wanting to get to.

Starting today is the best way to start. But I hope you don’t stop there. I hope one of the things you take time for is exploring your ambitions, dreams, passions, and God-given life purpose. Take a longer view of your life course. Is all of today’s “activity” making life better for you, your career, your family, your community, the world?

Think differently about how you do life each day. What if you evaluated each activity and challenged just how important it is versus many of the other things you could be doing? You have the ability to ask God what it is He made you for, dream how to make that happen, and begin leading a life in such a way that you can go to bed each night and say I’ve “done something wonderful.”

Why not start today? And, tomorrow, drop me a note letting me know what you took off your calendar and what you replaced it with that really matters. Then, enjoy your day more than you planned to.


Blessings on your continuing journey,

Bob Karcher

Authors | Speakers | Coaches



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Climbing Ladders

Our level of ‘I’ve gotta have it’ will never match our level of ‘I can’t afford it.'” – Bob and Susan Karcher

How is it that here in America, easily one of the most prosperous nations of all time, so many of us end up significantly in debt or even bankrupt? A big part of the answer is that we have made chasing the American Dream our primary focus. We have moved beyond simply providing for our families, conditioning ourselves to measure success in terms of how well our neighbors are doing by comparison. We have stopped focusing on the true standard—one between us and God—that tells us what we are called to be and do. Instead, we judge success by how high we’ve climbed on our own proverbial ladder.

We have all heard of the corporate ladder, and many of us have worked very hard to move up that ladder in our careers. I certainly did. As I made my way through the publishing industry for 25 years, I fervently sought each new promotion and the added pay and bigger title that came with each.

A closely related cousin to the corporate ladder is what we call the “Joneses Ladder.” It represents our ambition and drive to continuously reach for that one more thing that we believe will finally bring total satisfaction and financial peace.

While on the Joneses Ladder, we start to believe that fulfillment and success lies just one rung up from our current position. We rationalize reaching for the next level by telling ourselves we’re not asking for too much. “We are not trying to compete with Bill Gates or Oprah Winfrey,” we say, “that would be impossible. If we could get just one level higher on the ladder, we’d have what we need. And then, we would surely be happy!”

But once we have firmly arrived on the rung of the ladder we were reaching for, suddenly the next rung up on the ladder looks closer than ever. And then something triggers our desire to go higher—the neighbor who got a new car, the friend who got a higher-paying job, or the relative whose kids seem more successful than ours. Or it may be the next job, the next promotion, the next sale, the next accomplishment. The list can be endless.

We come from different levels of education, income, and status. But no matter what level we are on when we start, our level of “I’ve gotta have it” will never match our level of “I can’t afford it.” Instead of being content with our own comfort level, we want more than we can afford—and we keep reaching higher and higher for the next rungs on the Joneses Ladder.

Climbing the Joneses Ladder will never lead to lasting contentment, as there’s always some new level we’ll strive for if we allow ourselves to. As a result, the happiness we seek as we climb becomes impossible to attain because the Joneses Ladder rests on a shaky foundation and is leaning against a crumbling wall that assumes our achievements and acquisitions define who we are. They do not! All of our achievements can’t hold a candle to the joy we can discover when we start with a solid rock foundation.

If you find yourself precariously hanging onto a failing ladder, it’s never too late to refocus your life on the prizes that really matter – like faith, family, impact, and generosity. Strive for these and you’ll discover greater joy than any ladder-climbing could ever bring.

Enjoy this video. It will help bring this message to life.

Blessings on your continuing journey,
Bob Karcher

Author | Speaker | Coach

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“I’m fine, thank you.”

Person one: “Hi, how are you?”

Person two: “I’m fine, how are you?”

Person one: “I’m fine, thank you.”

Person one and two: Depart and go about their days

How often have you had this exact conversation with someone? Like the rest of us, it’s likely been so many times that you couldn’t count them if you wanted to.

How it is that being “fine” has become our standard greeting with each other? This greeting has become so customary that we simply state it without thinking about it. And it means so little anymore. Often we even move so quickly through this small talk that someone could say they are fine, yet have tears in their eyes, and we wouldn’t notice.

All of us seem to be fine all of the time. But we are not. Sometimes we are broken, offended, depressed, hurt, sick, and sometimes so completely shattered that we are barely hanging on. Urban dictionary say’s “I’m fine” is “one of the biggest white lies anyone could say.”

Another way of saying “I’m fine” might be “I’m doing great.” Have you been doing great the hundreds, perhaps thousands, of times you’ve answered with “fine?” In this drive-thru, microwave, ATM, Twitter world, we often move so fast that we fail to stop and really pay attention to the person right in front of us … or even to ourselves.

I totally understand there are times when it may not be the right time or even appropriate to dump all of our problems on someone. We could be in a professional setting where it wouldn’t be prudent to break down in tears. Or we think that if we share our issues it will look like we are weak simply seeking sympathy. Maybe we don’t want to admit to others that something is wrong. And surely a complete stranger on an elevator would feel totally out of place if we started crying out of the blue.

Yes, there are times when we really are doing great. Yet, when we aren’t, when would it be appropriate to share what’s going on with someone else and seek advice, counsel, prayer, or even just a listening ear?

I don’t mean to be pointing the finger because I am as guilty of this as anyone. There have been times I was really struggling, even holding back tears, when friends, even family, have asked how I am and guess how I responded. You got it. I said “I’m fine” … although I was nowhere close to doing great.

One of the best lessons I’ve learned through my Joneses Journey is the more deeply, authentically, and intimately I communicate with someone, the more that person feels safer to reciprocate in the same way with me. And the resulting conversations mean so much more than simply talking about the weather, sports, or shopping.

So now I take more risks in getting to truly know the people in my life. As each day passes, I have less and less time in this one life I’ve been given. I don’t know how much time I have but I sure don’t want to spend any of it in superficial conversations with family, friends, clients, or others that I know well.

What about you? Are you ready to take some risks (small ones at first) and actually get to know that person at church that you’ve been sitting in the same row with for a year or that co-worker just three cubicles away? I can promise that you will not regret stepping out if you do so in an appropriate, loving, and sincere way.

Blessings on your continuing journey,

Bob Karcher

Author | Speaker | Coach

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Attaining The Perfect Life

“The funny thing about the questions of life is that the ones we ask at the end are the ones we should begin with.” – David Green

How much time do you spend thinking about what a perfect life would look like? I never used to but now I do; in fact I’m as focused on it as any goal I’ve ever had. Let me clarify. I’m not suggesting that I, or my life, could possibly be found without fault. None of us can make that claim.

Still, wouldn’t aiming for a perfect life be a well-intentioned goal? Assuming you think this a good idea, here are some questions you may have: What does that look like? Where do I start? How do I measure it? What should I focus on?

I’m glad you asked. Start with the end in mind. In his new book, Giving It All Away … And Getting It All Back Again: The Way Of Living Generously, David Green comments on asking questions such as this:

“The funny thing about the questions of life is that the ones we ask at the end are the ones we should begin with. It is tough to craft a meaningful life without considering our end: What do we hope for, what do we dream for, relative to our lives, our family, our children? … I hope that some of the questions we put off – about our mortality, about our sense of meaning and success – we can begin to address right now.”

Sounds right doesn’t it? We seem to wait until it’s almost too late to consider what’s most important to us, leaving little time or hope of achieving our goals. That works about as successfully as waiting until we’re 75 to start saving for retirement.

This is why in our Halftime Institute Fellows Program we initiate thinking around Perfect Life Scenarios early on. You can’t move forward if you don’t know where you’re headed. But if you define who you are and what you most want your one life to count for, you can put goals, strategies, and guardrails in place to make sure you are moving from where you are to where you want your life to be.

Even with the best of plans life can still have a way of taking us off track. We’ve all been there. That’s why sometimes it simply boils down to doing the best we can, when we can, with what we have. The key word there is “best.” Let me know what comments or questions you have. I’d love to help.

Blessings on your continuing journey,

Bob Karcher

Author | Speaker | Coach

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It was Grandma

“Generations are not counted in numbers but by what we pass on.” – Susan Karcher

As I write this blog Susan and I are fresh off a nine-day vacation on the beautiful Hawaiian island of Oahu with our two daughters and Susan’s mother (aka Grandma). We were initially drawn to this island to celebrate a niece’s wedding but that was really just the excuse I needed to return. It doesn’t take much for me to say yes to a trip to Hawaii. This gathering of islands has yet to disappoint me. And the same was true of this trip … they had me at aloha!

This was a special trip for Grandma. She was born in the Philippines but moved to the island of Oahu after the Japanese invaded the Philippines in World War II. Grandma’s parents fled their home country with her in tow and nothing to their names other than the clothes on their backs. They started life all over. It was not easy but a new life they made.

Grandma stayed on Oahu until the age of 18 when she left for the mainland. Before this trip she had only returned to Oahu once in the ensuing 60 years, and that was over 50 years ago. It has long been a life goal of hers to “go home” once more before her time here on Earth comes to an end.

Grandma had the time of her life. I don’t think she stopped smiling once. She reminisced, shared stories, taught us some history, and soaked in all of the aloha she could. It was amazing to be there with her.

When our trip was over, Susan and I separately asked each of our daughters what their favorite part of the trip was. Hawaii is amazing in so many ways so surely we thought they would mention the people, or maybe the aloha lifestyle. Perhaps they would mention the natural beauty, the balmy evenings, the food, or all the plumeria trees. And yet, none of these things were the best part of the trip for either of the girls. Well, what was?

“It was Grandma!”

That’s right. They loved their time with Grandma the most. They loved watching her laugh, hearing her life stories, and learning of how her deep faith got her through an often difficult life. This is as it should be … the older generations sowing into those that follow. In our book, Who Are the Joneses Anyway?, Susan wrote this segment:

“Family reunions can be fun and revealing events in our lives. Perhaps you’ve heard the volume of conversation in a room drop as the matron or patron of the family begins to speak. We listen intently to their stories, their memories, and the experiences that shaped their lives, and the entire family. We learn through their stories, filled with rich history – where we came from, where we are headed, and how significant an impact each generation has on our families. Their words weave a beautiful canvas of vibrant colors that express a history of hard work, challenges, and determination. Combined with the bold colors and images of answered prayers, triumphs, and victories, their life lessons will carry our families through trials and more for generations to come. This is a terrific image of legacy – a picture of what those who have gone before have left for those of us who come after.”

If you’ve read our book (this is where you order it if you haven’t), you know that Susan and I have not always been on the right path in this area but we believe we now are. While it took us a while to go through what we call our “Joneses Journey” and understand the importance of legacy, we are now committed to living in a way that sounds a lot like the way Grandma is living. We are making a difference by sharing all we are and all we have with our families and the world around us.

What about you? You have the opportunity, and I would add – the responsibility, to fashion your own picture for those who come after you. What daily images are you painting with your life? What impact are you making? Are you living a legacy of faith, family, generosity and other great values, or are you leaving behind memories you would rather not be remembered for? It’s your choice. Pick this day which it will be.

Blessings on your continuing journey,

Bob Karcher

Authors | Speakers | Coaches


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Finding Silence


“We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence … we need silence to be able to touch souls.” – Mother Teresa

In my last post I asked you what your favorite sound was and I talked about the significant value that can come from replacing some of the noise in our lives with silence. This must have hit a nerve because I received more comments on that subject than any other to date.

One person mentioned that having some peace and quiet once in a while sounded wonderful but asked: How? When? Where? It may seem like finding a little time to think, pray, listen, and ponder life are beyond the realities of our world, a world in which we have to squeeze every minute out of every day. We can’t even wait a couple minutes for our latte to be made anymore. Now we order from an app and expect our beverage of choice to be waiting for us when walk into any Starbucks.

It may seem impossible to find time for silence … but it really isn’t. I live in the Los Angeles area where commuting to and from work in a throng of cars is the daily reality for over five million workers. Cheryl is a friend and is one of those millions, commuting each day to her job at an amazing ministry called Teen Challenge. She shared with me how she uses her commute time to double as solitude time:

“I oftentimes find myself driving with my phone on vibrate and the radio turned off. I find the quiet time in the car helps me be more alert as I drive as well as quiets my soul so I’m more aware of God’s presence in leading my day. Silence is definitely a gift from God to hear him much more clearly.”

Paul, a colleague at Halftime Institute calls Cheryl’s idea a “media fast”. There was a time in Paul’s life that he really needed to hear from God but he was having trouble doing so. He knew he had to do something so he implemented a media fast during his commute. He states that “before I knew it, I craved this time with God … I began seeing the fruit of my time with him – more patience, increased self-control, less pride, and greater joy.”

All of this from simply turning off the noise coming from the screens and radios during the daily commute. Can you imagine what could happen if you implemented a 30-day media fast at home and in the car?

If you need a super-focused time with God, we regularly recommend to Halftime Institute Fellows what we call a “solo-silent retreat”. In a nutshell, it’s getting alone somewhere for a day or two with only yourself, God, a Bible, and something to write with. If this sounds a little over the top to you, I can guess that after your first solo-silent retreat, you’ll be back for more. They are that powerful!

Perhaps one of these strategies, or a variation of one, will work for you. I could go on and list at least a dozen additional strategies that I have seen work successfully to help silence the noise in other’s lives but that would make this post much, much longer. Instead, why not reply to this note and let me know you want to chat? I am sure we can discover some strategies that would best fit your life. The alternative (not hearing God’s still small voice speaking to you) doesn’t seem too appealing.

Please feel free to reply to this e-mail if you want to explore this further. I’d love to hear from you.

Blessings on your continuing journey,

Bob Karcher


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The best sound you’ll never hear

What is your favorite sound? What thought just entered your mind? Was it the sound of ocean waves gently crashing on the shore? Was it a favorite musical ensemble? Or maybe you love the sound of children playing. All of these are great choices.

How many of you thought of “silence” as your favorite sound? I’ll admit the question was a little tricky; we really don’t think of silence as a “sound”, do we? Yet, silence can be one of the most refreshing sounds you hear if practiced regularly. I’m not talking about giving someone the silent treatment … that’s something altogether different. What I’m referring to is spending some planned quality time in silence for the purpose of increasing your ability to hear.

In our activity-addicted world we have forgotten the importance of spending time in silence. Just take cell phones as one example. A Time article states that Americans check their cell phones eight billion times per day. Yes, I spelled that right … billion, with a “B”. Let’s get this a little closer to home. The average user (that’s you and me) checks their phone 46 times per day. And it rises if you are between the ages of 18-24. That group looks at their phones on average 74 times per day! And I bet these numbers are even higher now than when this research was completed.

When we add all of our other busyness to our cell phone usage, you can quickly see just how addicted to activity we have become. I’m not proposing we all turn in our cell phones … they have become an almost necessary tool in our lives. What I am proposing is we balance out all of the activity and noise in our lives with some silence.

“To hear, one must be silent.” – Ursula K. Le Guin

A little over a week ago I had the incredible experience of enjoying a weekend at a silent retreat with my father. This wasn’t the first time I’ve been to one of these. Dad took me to my first silent retreat when I was just thirteen years old and I have been to many since. At first it was little hard to get used to but now I can’t wait to leave the noise of the world behind for a couple days and go on one of these retreats. Every time I do, my hearing improves dramatically.

I’ve been asked what exactly what I’m “hearing” if I am at a silent retreat. My answer: God’s voice. I need and cherish God’s direction in my life regularly. But I won’t be able to hear Him if I don’t stop to listen. This may sound odd but it really isn’t. Think of what you need to do to listen, really listen, to someone. You need to stop talking, stop what you are doing, turn towards that person, and be still. It’s the same with God and yet we seldom set aside time to do this.

I need God’s voice and direction in my life. Without it I would experience far less clarity, joy, impact, and balance. I know … I’ve tried it the other way and it didn’t work too well. What about you? Could you stand a little less noise and activity, and a little more peace and God in your life? If you so much as sighed a “yes!” when you read that, then let’s get you started on a new path. It’s totally possible.

“OK, I’m in” you might be saying,” but how do I get started?” For now, how about starting small? Find even just five minutes by yourself each day. Just use that cell phone one less time and you’ll have reached your first goal. That’s a great start. You don’t have to go away for two days on a retreat to hear God’s voice. You can hear it right where you are.

Stay tuned because in our next post we are going to explore some great strategies to live with less noise and focus more on the things you want.

Please feel free to comment here or respond to this e-mail if you want to explore this further. I’d love to hear from you.

Blessings on your continuing journey,

Bob Karcher


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